SECTION FIVE

ADDENDUEMS- Jafira's Otherkin Advice Letters

Letter Topic: Am I Otherkin?:

An approximate Question that I once received consisted of: “My friend thinks I may be dragonkin and I have felt some phantom wings on occasion do you think I might be otherkin?”

Well, the thing with being otherkin is unlike being a furry or assuming a fictional identity it is kind of something you grow into, you typically either are or are not (at varying degrees of course, subject to the personal experiences discovered during awakening or realization) but the point is, that being otherkin is not something that can be externally declared by a friend or a psychic or whatever. It is something that you tend to discover on your own over the years and as you grow and mature. What the questioner experienced where phantom wings, which although experienced commonly by some otherkin can easily be manifested at will by anyone through concentration or imagination. Unfortunately phantom limbs can easily be attributed to placebo and when experienced alone are not necessarily a definite sign or proof of a spiritual shift of sorts.

Bottom line, if you are indeed some form of otherkin you would probably have already suspect it in one way or another. Albeit I cannot speak for everyone and I do not know the questioners individual age or circumstance. Personally I had suspicions of my own draconity or being otherkin beginning around the age of eight or nine, (partly triggered by receiving a dragon claw pendant). Early in my youth, roughly around the age of ten I had a pretty clear understanding that I wasn't normal, spiritually/mentally/emotionally and by my mid-teens I feel I pretty much knew for sure or at least in my heart that I was not the same spiritually/consciously as some of my peers. If say for example the questioner were in their mid-twenties or so and just now questioning, it is possible they may be caught up in the moment and I would advise them to be cautious or to approach the concept with personal introspection and patience. (Although I advise that for pursuing the concept of being otherkin in general honestly.)

If however the questioner is younger, then hey, who am I to say one way or the other? However please do not give into to impulse or fantasy, as mentioned above, do research, be introspective and most of all know yourself. The main thing is that you need to really look into your personal past and into your heart, if you were a dragon or an otherkin of some sort the signs would likely be there in segments throughout your life. For myself, I had a few recurring dreams or memories of possibly having been a dragon, I had an unnatural attraction to anything reptilian, and I was a bit animalistic in private when nobody was around to catch me or judge. I always had a natural affinity to metaphysics and the spiritual which was socially frowned upon, but was still an interest of mine which I attributed to having knowledge in my heart that this world and life was but one of many. Strange personal traits occurring like that early in youth are uncommon and abnormal, but are a good sign that there is more to your spirit or life than your present mind may know. (Though please be aware of possible psychological explanations or alternatives, be always honest with yourself and seek the truth in all things)

My primary advice would be to explore the matter. If you think you may be an otherkin, what evidence do you have? What type of dragon or kintype where you? What did you look like? What where you like? Why do you believe these things? Meditate on your self-understandings and question everything, don't rely solely on emotion or assumption and while exploring yourself, do not claim with certainty that you were one thing or another, remember that these beliefs are by their nature subjective and a matter of faith.

Ones spirituality is subjective and individualistic and it is always changing as new facts are discovered, for example don't say for absolute certainty that you were one form of dragon or critter without first determining some kind of personal evidence to back it up, otherwise you might later discover that you were really some other type, form, spirit, gender or possibly not even an otherkin at all. Always be introspective and patient on this type of subject and matters of internal being.

To be safe, I always say that I “perceive” that I “may” have been a black dragon for the very fact that in the end, I cannot know for sure, otherkin is an unable to be proven personal faith based belief. Everything is subjective and subject to later discoveries or knowledge as we all mature. I might find out later that I wasn't what I claimed to be in the past, so I try never to speak in absolutes. I sincerely believe that I might be otherkin, I feel strongly that I was, based on my subjective experiences and I will personally identify as a dragon or otherkin, but in the end, who knows? It's always best to be rational and to play it safe.

In all things, keep an open mind and have balance in your opinions. In the yin-yang of whether you were or were not an otherkin you have the black side of the yin which says you were once a dragon and you have the white side of the yang which says you were not a dragon. I would try to stay always adrift in that grey dividing line in the center until you have determined an answer with some certainty. Remember to have patience and balance in all things. Explore some of the communities online, be objective and rational, read what others experienced, see what your own heart and experiences say and then decide rationally for yourself whether or not you feel that you were perhaps truly a dragon or otherkin.

Can I be Otherkin if I have no memories?

Approximate Question: I strongly believe that I may be otherkin but I lack any awakening memories or flashbacks. I feel really strongly I am and it would explain a lot, but can I be otherkin without memories?

Regarding your concerns of a lack of possible memories, contrary to what some may say, it isn't the end of the world or a lack of proof if flashbacks or memories haven't popped up. Being otherkin in my personal view is an unprovable faith based concept, a spiritual or psychological perception of one's inner self. Not all otherkin are of the “reincarnated” variety and there are different interpretations as to what is going on spiritually or psychologically internally and there are different degrees or spectrums of otherkin.

I simply tend to focus on the reincarnation aspect due to my own personal experiences and bias' it is the possibility that I relate with personally. Another reason you may not have any memories is that they seem to be, subjectively, a sort of highlight reel of important emotional moments that may have imprinted on the spirit like a recording. I perceive that I was mostly a wild animal, so I mostly just had memories of my death and one or two brief moments of interest. The most vivid possible memory I have was a dream in which I got ambushed as a dragon and killed in my sleep. In the third and last repeat of said dream a humanoid wolf shouted “Koragus” or “Korageth” which I assume was my name (By that time I had already adopted the name Jafira both on the internet and in personal friendships offline so I chose to maintain it) If your possible past life was peaceful or mundane then it may be possible that nothing intense or emotional was imprinted on your spirit like that, or perhaps it may take longer for something to come up. *shrugs* possibly nothing may come up, but just know that memories are not the end all be all of evidence.

To be honest, at least in regards to my own opinion, I worry that some may be over imagining the impact of memories. As said above I only had a few brief nightmares of getting killed and a quick flashback of flying over grass and a lake. I also had a few separate dreams in which I was an entirely different dragon of the opposite gender nesting with a family, so go figure on that one. (She eventually became my “Rashau” secondary awakening)

Although the majority of my potential memories are based on dreams, I would advise against relying solely on dreams like that, some can be just that, dreams, so introspect possible factors that may have influenced said dreams before assuming them possible memories, be rational, perhaps keep a dream journal and scan for patterns, have you had the same dream multiple times? Or just once? Was it vivid or was it a normal dream? In the end my major past life memory tally for Kora was three nightmares and a flashback of flying. Any of which could easily be whittled away rationally. For my possible secondary awakening Rashau, I just had a dream or two of myself as her, one was me of watching eggs hatch as another dragon nuzzled me, the other dream was meeting that same dragon by a lake. None of the dreams referenced constitute any “proof”. The vast majority of my personal faith or perceptions that I was once a dragon tend to come from a sort of inner knowing, or to get metaphysical, a spiritual instinct? I do not want to say it's entirely emotion based as that could be perceived as escapism or fantasy, but in many ways for myself at least, a lot of my otherkin faith has been built upon emotion “inner knowing” and subjective personal experiences, which again, is why I refer to it as faith.

For example of this “inner knowing” beginning around the age of ten or so I had a sort of “dragon side” or imaginary other half of my mind that would kind of give me support. When I turned thirteen one of my friends accused me of being possessed and others said that I wasn't normal, so I tried to kill that dragon side alongside all interest in dragons. This lead to a strange long depression in which I just drifted through life kind of dead inside. So a year or two later I went back to liking dragons. At the age of sixteen a friend and family member destroyed what few dragon things I owned (mostly just a sentimental dragon claw pendant and a journal full of thoughts and doodles) so I acted normal again to appease him, doing so caused me to become depressed and drift indifferently through life like before.

Around the age of seventeen/eighteen I discovered otherkin and found out for the first time that I was not alone, this life changing event pretty much rebooted my love of dragons and put it into overdrive, but since I had no real memories other than a vague recurring dream of my death, I fell into a delusion and made large assumptions about my past. I made everything about myself up because it felt right. A few years later when an older otherkin critiqued my beliefs my false reality imploded and I abandoned dragons and otherkin yet again. That also led to another year long depression until I started over introspecting from scratch, which pretty much lead me to my present beliefs at time of writing. I constantly struggled with the subject of “am I a dragon?” all throughout my life.

As you may have noticed, every time in my past that I would try to ignore my odd connection to dragons I would go into a sort of depression as if an important part of my self was dead or being locked away. Whenever I would accept or “go with” the idea that I was a dragon or somehow connected to them, my mentality would seem to shift back to a positive or normal state. This sense of being whole when I accepted that I may have been a dragon felt to me personally to be equal or even better evidence for my claim to being otherkin then the few possible past life memories that I may have had or dreamt.

There is still a 50/50 chance that I am not dragonkin, because in the end, it is impossible to know for sure. I try to keep to an agnostic mindset, I believe in all my heart that I was a dragon, based on the questions it answers and how it affects me negatively when I deny or ignore the idea, but since it's impossible to prove, I could be wrong. Thus I say “I may have been” or “I perceive that I was” so as to avoid any absolutes or potential hostility. I tread a middle ground leaning towards “Yes”. Despite my agnosticism or mild uncertainty I still choose to identify myself as otherkin because personally it does not feel right or natural for me not to. Even if I wasn't dragonkin, this discovery would probably only cause me to downgrade myself to a member of the furry fandom or a dragon enthusiast of some sort, dragons are simply too much a part of my inner being for me to ever truly abandon.

That middle ground is something that most of the younger kin seem not to consider much anymore, it feels to me in this polarized point in history that one's interpretation is always either “yes or no”. I tend to worry that this absolutism can inevitably lead to a polarization of extremes such as either being so skeptical as to abandon the belief outright or so open minded as to become delusional.

If you are having emotions and feelings on the matter strong enough to cause you emotional pain or conflict, then in my honest opinion and from personal experiences you probably are an otherkin, in which case I would say go with it. You only live once and it is best not to be miserable or questioning the whole time. If in the future you eventually determine that you were not kin, then no harm was caused by pursuing the faith or idea that you were. But if it feels natural and answers so much, then why resist it? Memories and awakenings are not the same for everyone, some come in spurts at different times in life, and some don't come at all. It is safe to believe that you are otherkin if it makes sense to your individual experiences, particularly if the emotions or instinct that you are is that strong.

I would say accept the possibility and see what may come or open up to you in time, but definitely maintain a sense of skepticism. The kin community is full of a variety of personalities and beliefs, many will say you need a certain experience or a certain sensation to be legitimate, but in in the end, its personal and subjective, be prepared to defend your feelings of course, but in all things be true to yourself. Likewise, be wise not to fall into assumptions, if you wrote a story in which a character was a dragon banished by the gods to earth, be cautious not to fall into the idea of assuming that you might have been that dragon. Try not to force or simply assume memories. If you want to look for them then I would advise, go lay under a tree and relax in some grass, close your eyes and meditate to see if something might pop up! Please be sure to keep a balance of introspection, be open minded, but not so much that your brains fall out. Lastly, I would say, be in tune with your kintype or be dragon'y when it feels right to do so, allow your kintype identity to be just another part of your life, but do not allow it to control the entirety of your life.

Of course, as a disclaimer I write only from my own experiences and being an otherkin is a subject that is personal to the individual and to one's own understandings, it is something that only you can decide, good luck on your journey, take it slow with patience and balance in all things.

Being Otherkin, it's okay to doubt :

It is not uncommon for some otherkin to have moments of questioning or to have a weakness of faith, the most important thing to know is that it is okay. Being otherkin is not like a dogmatic belief that will punish you for questioning it, rather it requires you to embrace a high degree of such in order to be personally honest with oneself. It is no surprise that many otherkin will be challenged, modern society and common beliefs will typically look down or frown upon the concept of otherkin and that knowledge of being potentially outcast leads to questioning.

Many times within my life I have abandoned the belief that I am a dragon. - “It's foolish”, “It's imaginary”, “It's wish fulfillment”, “It's psychological projection” those are all things that I would tell myself. As well many times during my life my belief was shaken to its core and I was often forced to re-examine over and over again throughout the years what I believed, gradually trimming away what was ego or desire and leaving only what faith, experience and emotion would not allow my cold logic to remove.

For many years it was a struggle to express to myself or believe that I was once possibly a dragon without feeling insecure or insane. I learned that if I bluntly said “I am a dragon” the burden of proof was upon me and I would often be torn down. But that if I said “I perceive that I was once a dragon” it became more a matter of faith, spirituality and belief, the simple re-wording helped to relieve confrontations and doubt. I had learned to say to myself, “I may have been a dragon in a prior life, I cannot prove it, but it is what my heart tells me, it is what I perceive my spirit to be. I am human today and can live this life, but I feel I may have once been something else and that is what my spirit tells me.”

But enough rambling, in short, life is hard and stressful, it brings us down and our obscure otherkin beliefs can become an emotional liability which can cause us to doubt and avoid it or to simply push it in to the background. But when you see that perfect image of your kintype somewhere or when you visualize just the right scene and those old emotions all come rushing back, it becomes kind of hard to deny that there is something there and something to it.

It's okay to doubt and there will be times in life in which that doubt may last for quite a long time. But when there is that little spiritual/emotional/special connection to your kintype beneath the surface, then faith always tends to find its way back in time. It's just something that doesn't go away. During those phases of distance from your inner self, it never hurts to remind yourself of your connection to your kintype, through music, videos, stories, or art.

Personally I collect art of my kintype and of associated characters or creations of mine to help pick me up when I feel down, I combine viewing them with music that is personally emotional to me. Sometimes, like this past summer I may just need to distance myself from the belief and focus on the present life and of course, getting out to nature also tends to help.

Never be afraid to doubt, because what is true, if it is true, shall not vanish, it will only be suppressed and rekindled later anew like a fiery phoenix, live your life in peace and balance, all will be as it is meant to be.

On Memories, past mates and mainstream disclosure :

Letter to Jafira:

"You mentioned the importance of examining the awakening memories in your otherkin guide, but I'm not sure how to do that because spiritual things are difficult to be proven by science after all. So how exactly do you examine them?"

In answer to your question I must admit that there is no real way to go about examining awakening memories, it is all very subjective, it is a matter of personal faith,

For myself, when I was a teenager I had only a few flashes, dreams and some extremely strong emotions to interpret from. I believed that I was a black dragon and that I likely existed on another world. Being young at the time I ended up writing a short fictional story based on what I wanted thought my life was like and then convinced myself that it was really my history or past life memories. A couple of years later when I was challenged to substantiate the evidence for the story I made for myself all I honestly had to fall back on was the aforementioned dreams and emotions. So, I had to be honest with myself and just state simplistically that I had few memories, but felt in my heart as a matter of faith that I may have been a black dragon. I then abandoned the false history, fake memories and narrative behind them.

The point I am hoping to convey is to be honest with oneself and try not to trick yourself into believing a memory or scenario just because it may have made sense or been what you would like to have happened. I personally only have a few possible memories, one of flying over a valley, one of possibly being with my mate and the event of my supposed death. Each is a strong emotional scene, but they're also subjective and unprovable, they are each a matter of faith based on the emotion involved.

In writing that others should examine their possible memories I just meant that I did not want newly awakened or those possibly curious to fall into a trap of filling in gaps in their self-understanding by making up a fake reality like I did. That it is better to have a few very personal and emotional memories or experiences as a foundation rather than a false narrative that you may have convinced yourself is true. I wanted to convey the importance of meditating on why the reader believes the possible memories related to their kintype and to determine if they are based on fantasy and egotism towards a desired reality or if they are based off of a more personal source. I just wanted the readers to do their best to be honest with themselves was all.

You would be surprised how many kids have come up to me in the past saying they were otherkin when all they had done was apparently taken a favorite role play character and decided that they were the entity or persona just because they thought that it made sense at the time. Once they were challenged to actually look into their beliefs on a deeper level they would often realize this and tend to move on. Others have had evidence or the feeling most of their lives and have other experiences/emotions to anchor them in faith outside of a possibly fictional history. Questioning the source of ones memories just helps to separate the two possible inner truths from self-created delusions.


"I love my mate very much, but I'm afraid that if I fall in love with a human one day it may be a disloyalty to my mate. What do you think about it"

One of my fondest possible memories was a dream of being intimate with my perceived mate from my last life. For many years I was convinced that if I had ended up on this world, maybe she had been born here too and that perhaps we were still connected and would meet someday. It was honestly one of the motivations for making my dragonkin web sites, I thought that if I put my existence out on the web she might find me. In that sense my website was partly created as a beacon to lead her to me. In the past I had turned down many relationships in my youth and although I was emotionally close to many friends I never truly dated anyone until my early twenties because I was still holding out hope for finding “Her”.

In time though I started to philosophize about the possible nature of one's soul and on the topic of reincarnation. I came to the personal conclusion that if reincarnated spirits truly exist, then physical existence was possibly meant for our spirits to learn and experience new things. (I was raised to be agnostic so I had no spiritual upbringing of any sort to draw from, these were simply my own personal views) I wondered, as a thought exercise I considered that if I had once existed as a squirrel and had a mate, but then fell from a tree and died would I still have a sense of loyalty to that last mate if I reincarnated as a dragon next?

I concluded that each existence most likely has a unique new mate to diversify the growth of the spirit. I also felt that although I loved my old mate, if she were unable to be on this world with me I felt she'd want me to move on and try to be happy without her. It took me many years to break away from the loyalty and searching for my old mate but I chose to move on and prayed she'd forgive me and live a new life without me. Since then I have been happily partnered for several years, I still miss my old mate at times but I felt in my heart that she wouldn't want me to let her hold me back in this life.


"In your consideration, should otherkin stuff be known and understood (if they can) by the public like homosexuality? Or would it be better to keep it as a secret? I would like to know your opinion on this."

In my consideration, otherkin topics and discussion should be kept out of the public eye for the time being. I say this as it is honestly a very controversial belief and impossible to be substantiated outside of personal faith. Although that statement is true for a variety of religions and beliefs I personally feel that we would be unfairly targeted for ridicule due to the low numbers of experiencers and the relative newness of our existence to the social mainstream.

Although there may be some evidence of possible dragonkin and therians throughout select pantheist or animist mythologies in human history that we could try to point to, the topic in a modern context would likely be interpreted as an internet phenomena or fad and may not be taken entirely seriously. I do believe that in the coming years there may be a time when the topic could be more openly discussed in the mainstream without ridicule, but at present I feel that the global kin community needs some more time in the shadows to settle, mature and to find its cultural voice.

Frankly we're just too new, prior to the internet anyone with otherkin beliefs would likely had been isolated and alone, there were few ways for possible otherkin to know that they were not insane or that they were not the only ones with their beliefs. Suddenly over the past thirty years we are beginning to find each other around the globe. So it does make sense that we are a newer pseudo religion existing primarily on the web. It is rational to believe that we will have to exist long enough to show that we are not a passing fad. The otherkin/therian community as a whole will likely need more time to evolve and grow before we can begin to seek such acceptance from the public. Personally, I do not predict large scale openness, social acceptance or understanding of otherkin within my lifetime.

Remember that a lot of what I write is my own speculation based on personal experiences. Remember the obvious - that spirit and understanding of one's self is unique to the individual and that only you can determine what is true for your personal reality. I'm just sharing my thoughts, remember in all things know yourself and who you are.

Methods to Connect To Spirit:

Regarding how to become more spiritual, I am no guru or professional so I cannot speak authoritatively on the matter, I can only speak from my own experiences. I will give what advice that I can. There is no one way to become spiritual, it's subjective to an individual's needs and tastes. There are a variety of methods that you can try and what helps some people may not help others. I would recommend trying out different paths until you find the one that helps you connect best on an emotional or spiritual level.

Nature:
For a few years in my early twenties I associated myself with a spiritual traveler claiming to be a Cherokee medicine man, during the time that I spent with him we would often go to local mountains or wilderness, sometimes we would simply go to a nearby park or field. Sometimes he would play soothingly on a spirit flute, but mostly we would just sit under trees or on some rocks and simply listen in silence to the world around us, we would enjoy the clouds, sounds and scenery.

It brought about a sense of awareness that the trappings of modern life and the mendacity of daily responsibilities distanced us from the spiritual. I learned that returning to nature once or twice a week and appreciating its beauty and essence would draw us closer to the earth, our personal and external energies, and to the creator. I was often warned to always have a balance in all things, that to lean too far into the spiritual would be detrimental to my daily life, but to lean too deeply into daily life would be detrimental to my spirit or soul. I was taught to always find some time for nature and to keep a balance between the two worlds.

As a dragonkin I found the time that I spent in nature to be personally uplifting. It felt natural and while lounging in the wilderness or staring at the clouds or mountains I would often find myself visualize myself as a dragon, flying or lounging as I once had in prior lives. It always helped me to feel more connected to my perceived past and would be emotionally invigorating. In short, just getting outside and exploring, resting and connecting with nature can bring us closer to spirit. Many Native American and old European mythologies were nature based, another famous example is Buddha who discovered enlightenment while mediating under a Bodhi tree. The energies of spirit always flow through nature, all one needs to do is seek to connect with it.

Music:
I have personal a love for music and when I listen to songs of any genre I tend to sense or visualize an energy within them, some are positive, some neutral, some negative. It is my opinion that the music that is emotionally uplifting or connective to you on a personal level can give a good spark to your spirit! The right song can ignite the imagination and emotions and when combined with visualizations or interactions with subjects that are spiritually important to you a good song can lead to a highly connective or invigorating experience!

Meditation:
(I always fall asleep, meditation does not work well for me outside of lounging in nature.) I personally have bad focus meditating unless I am outside listening to nature or focusing on calming myself from a stress or problem. I have difficulty clearing my mind or keeping focused, either my mind drifts to random thoughts, I'll day dream about flying, or I will fall asleep, so I cannot speak very well on this. But meditation is obviously a quick and helpful path to become more spiritual, it focuses the mind and spirit and disconnects us from reality allowing for calm and clear thought. Guides and lessons can be found online, but meditation is always an option or something to try. On a related matter, guided meditations also exist within the otherkin community which may be of use in connecting deeper to your kintype or spiritual identity.

Reiki and Chakras:
This subject is also not one of my fortes, though my mate is quite versed in the study of such and I can always ask her if any questions should arise. Reiki teaches that the physical body has seven spiritual energy pools through which your spiritual energies flow back and forth through. These seven energy pools are called Chakra, each Chakra is effected by different emotions or pains that we experience in life. If we accumulate too much of a particular negative emotion or trait it can clog one or more chakra and prevent the free flow of spiritual energy throughout the body. It's the spiritual dimension or spiritual side effects of psychological pains and emotions within our bodies. Usually the only way to cleanse a chakra is to find the emotions that are clogging it and work through them. If you find yourself continually depressed or lacking spiritual motivation or connectivity with no obvious underlying reason, it may be an unseen chakra issue. As a disclaimer though, please consider psychological and physiological self-understandings in balance with issues of chakra. The flesh and spirit are two parts to a whole, care for both.

Prayer:
If you have grown up in a religious family then this one may be quite obvious, as all entities physical and non must come from a source, all things are interconnected, call it God, the creator, great spirit, divine consciousness or what have you, there must be a source to all spirit. Man, dragon or spirit, we that exist must somehow be interconnected and of the same energy as that which created us. To pray to that source is likely to connect to that source and ask of it. In so doing, all things within spirit or within reason can be possible.

The Arts and Creativity:
Art, Music, Writing, and all other creative expressions are the emotions of the mind and spirit put to paper, vision or sound. Creativity through whatever your talent may be is the expression of the spirit and is a great way to feel connected! In my personal opinion there are fewer better paths to connectivity as a dragon then to be reminded of your inner spirit through a form of creative expression.

Just Sense:
The world is comprised of energy in all life and in all things! The connection to such is simply a matter of opening one's mind to the possibilities and understanding. In all things please try to sense or visualize the energies within, start small with plants, the energies that flow through the wind and in the streams, then move up to that of pets and friends, from there to the unseen and beyond. As well, feel and sense yourself, both as you exist now and as you feel you once were, shape the energies around you by visualizing with your mind, sense and feel, visualize the unseen and let it be felt.

Otherkin Moderation - Personal Introspection

The Importance of self-moderation for Otherkin

A faith or belief such as being otherkin needs to be brought in at times. Being otherkin by its nature is a belief that has few doctrinal borders so it is up to the collective community as individuals to agree upon and set some form of guidelines to keep things from getting out of control and being flooded with incoherence, delusions or purely emotional rationalizations. The otherkin community is also prime bait for people just seeking attention alongside of the truly confused or delusional who may be seeking an escape from this life or may be seeking special treatment and attention.

Most of society's traditional beliefs tend to have internal doctrinal boundaries or a general understanding of their tenants and beliefs to ensure that their adherents do not commonly need as much oversight or policing by the overall community. Considering however the individualistic nature of otherkin it is unlikely that some great otherkin equivalent of the Council of Nicaea will ever agree to banish fictionkin as heretics or gather to determine that someone cannot be a “galaxy'kin,” therefore we will never really have a bible or book of law due to the fact that our beliefs are by nature subjective faith.

However, I can propose one true mandate or commandment: Introspect yourself and encourage such of others. Individual otherkin must be prudent to always, in all circumstances question the understandings and perceptions of both themselves and others. The fluid and liberal understanding of personal and spiritual identity allowed by the concept of being otherkin must always be approached and handled responsibly and introspectively with adherents commonly questioning, searching and meditating on their own personal beliefs and understandings.

On a personal level, Otherkin to me is the belief in reincarnation and perhaps in a multiverse, I am a pantheist/animist and so for me, the possibility of otherkin fits easily into my own personal worldview. However, for others it may be a more psychological or inner knowing. I understand that being otherkin as a general philosophy is very fluid and flexible, but it is also easily susceptible to delusional ideas and prior to the arrival of social media most otherkin kept to various closed digital communities for that very reason. In the past we as otherkin were generally careful about who we would come out to, the topic was at times a “need to know basis” being kept secret helped us to moderate and keep out a lot of the attention seekers, escapists, trolls or special snowflakes who would later come to taint our beliefs on site's like Tumblr today.

We still had a large degree of fluff in the kin communities back then (I mean come on, I still somehow weaseled in *wink*) but the examples of delusion were not as out of control as they are today. One reason for the communities greater stability in years passed was because of the guidelines we had set forth as a community. Common sense tenets like "This belief is personal or spiritual to our members and important." "That it takes meditation and personal growth," "That it is not something that is just decided or a game." "That we are always learning and seeking" "That we are not trying to override this life, but rather understand that knowing more about ourselves is meant to teach us lessons, that inner understanding may make us better stronger people and help us work towards our personal or spiritual growth."

Unfortunately with the rise of social media we lost a lot of homogeneity, walls and security, we must now as a greater community learn to police ourselves individually. So again, please be introspective, work to be self-aware and stay always in a state of learning. Be rational, seek understanding and never give allow your intellect to be swayed by simple assumptions, above all else and at all times, know yourself and be wise.

Otherkin Moderation#2 - Maintaining a Balanced View :

Otherkin Moderation, A Balanced View

The concept of being otherkin is a very questionable and subjective belief which although potentially having parallels with some forms of shamanism or animism throughout diverse cultures of the past is still a relatively new term or belief system in its modern form, having only begun (or been revived?) in the last forty years or so of modern history. The overall community is still finding its culture and due to its subjective, emotional and spiritual nature must be treated both respectfully and rationally by the individual. We live in a world wherein high fantasy is only a click away and psychological and emotional wish fulfillment can easily intermix with fictional narratives to create false assumptions and realities.

It is in this regard that I advocate having a strong personal balance between the rational and spiritual in ones perceived kin beliefs. By all means accept being otherkin and don't allow yourself to be forced to deny it if you have passion or an inner knowing, but likewise be humble enough to accept or reflect upon new evidence or criticisms as they occur. In matters of personal psychology try to maintain a centrist view where for example if one were to wake up with a phantom limb, they could peacefully accept it as either a psychological placebo or a spiritual aura while still having the experience be meaningful and bonding to their perceived belief.

Personally I am somewhat of a pantheist and animist, I believe that spirits are formless and can incarnate as any existing/living body as well as in any place which can sustain life. I also believe that time and space are irrelevant to a spirit. However I still try my best to approach things rationally and as a human I know that my opinion is subjective and that while I am alive I can only assume or speculate upon the nature of spirits. I also do my best not to underestimate the vulnerabilities of the human brain, how chemicals, hormones and experiences throughout development can and will affect ones psychology. So I personally feel it rational and required of me to walk somewhat of a middle path in life. I feel with all my heart that my experiences are spiritual, but I can accept and do not begrudge that I cannot prove them or that others may view me as psychologically flawed or confused.

As a result of my own past experiences I somewhat require myself to be agnostic, as I noticed in my past that every time I would let the pendulum of my beliefs swing too far in one direction or in another that I would either become miserable that I wasn't being true to myself or alternatively I would cease to be self-critical and would fall into false assumptions. When I settled on a balanced or centrist view of “I will not deny being otherkin but I will also critique my beliefs and be open to criticism because in the end, how can I really know?” that stance kind of helped me to become more secure, I had juggled extremes and personally needed a middle ground.

Though in the end the only real difference between me as I write this and the me of five years ago is just that I say “I perceive that I was a dragon” rather than say outright that “I was a dragon” It is a little less assertive but it does not change who I am or what I personally believe. I realize that I may have said in the past that being agnostic on the matter was a desirable mannerism for otherkin, but it is by no means a mandate or a tenant. It is just what worked for me. Being otherkin is individualized and everyone should find their own path. If you the reader are self-critical and can explain how you came to your conclusions, then that is all I am really writing for. I just want others to be more aware of the origins of their conclusions so that they do not just make up a persona and go with it.

Regarding if I would require the same introspection or agnosticism of other faiths? First, agnosticism is really a flawed word, my context was seeking a balanced rational for ones beliefs, just an ability to explain how you came to your conclusions and to accept criticism if necessary. A typical mainstream faith has certain borders and boundaries built into their system, whereas identifying as otherkin is not like a mainstream religion. Otherkin by its nature has few real barriers, anyone can just claim any identity and if done right everyone will go along with it. Because of this openness our community is particularly susceptible to delusional or escapist members which is why there is a need for more assertive self-reflection from individual members within the community, we need to self-police.

Sometimes members with obvious psychological issues may take claim to being otherkin while other times younger kin may jump into fantasy mindsets and assume them to be real. As I mentioned in the beginning of this text we are a fairly new (or revived) belief system that has only existed for a few decades, with any luck it is likely that we will continue to grow and mature in the years to come but, if so, then it is likely that our community will increasingly become more noticed as our culture continues to change and evolve.

Considering the free for all nature of otherkin as opposed to more ordered mainstream beliefs I personally feel that a high degree of individual introspection, self-awareness and moderation are particularly needed now at this point in history due to personal identity politics increasingly becoming an issue in the mainstream and the otherkin of select social media groups often creating a poor misconception of our overall community. From my interpretation of present cultural trends I fear that as the years go on it is possible that more antagonistic forces may gradually turn their attention to our community's activities, general culture and beliefs.

Case in point, the amazing atheist on YouTube critiqued our beliefs in 2015, his was just a YouTube channel, but if our representatives over on Tumblr could not socially handle that minuscule criticism maturely then what will happen when or if a mainstream personality were to report negatively on or community? For the sake of our overall cultural image we cannot allow the idea of otherkin to be treated as a game or as some deluded cult populated by triggered imbeciles using our belief as a coping method to avoid societal hardships. We must work to take personal responsibility, to better know ourselves and to be able to defend coherently and intellectually what we believe both to ourselves and to others in a way that does not reflect poorly on us as individuals or on our community as a whole.

We are slowly becoming more noticed and because of this exposure we will be increasingly susceptible to a higher risk of social criticism and will be judged by our worse actors. Therefore I feel it is the ultimate responsibility of each individual kin to determine their own personal spirituality as clearly and rationally as possible in case the day may come that they are ever confronted or called by society to defend their view of being otherkin or to explain the origin of their conclusions. I hope that I didn't come off as too hostile, I am just worried that trans-speciesism will become a large issue after gender identity politics have ran their natural course and if so, then we as a collective had best be ready. Besides, even if it cultural hostility does not happen, we are all still better knowing ourselves and having a clear personal understanding of our beliefs regardless.

Regarding Otherkin Shifting :

This letter was written in response to an individual asking about otherkin “shifting”.

Shifting in the cognitive context of “sometimes feeling more like my kintype rather than human”, this phenomena is generally common during ones awakening. I personally remember that during the peak of my own perceived awakening during some of my late teens that I would often times feel the entire dragon body of my kinform Korageth overlapping my human body, often for days or weeks at a time.

Even though I would walk upright and do everything normally, I would somehow feel or sense the invisible footsteps of Kora's quad legs in addition to my human form and would feel the presence of my wings alongside my long tail dragging behind me as I walked around, it was simply indescribable having such a phantom form and feeling the odd sensations of it overlapping my physical form while sensing the simultaneous feeling of both bodies at once. (Sadly I guess I lost or aged out of that connection/ability over time, I cannot seem to experience a shift like that as often anymore.)

I had for many years in my past, growled and murred and would playfully shift my speech into a raspy draconic voice as well. Several times a day I would commonly on occasion have the need to stretch phantom wings which would randomly appear from my back shoulders. There have also been times in the past wherein I would have the irrational and insane desire to briefly walk on all fours, seldom pursued such desires, but yes, I was a weird kid. At other times I had slept curled upon my sheets or in similar fashions mimicking how I had probably slept in my past kin form.

I am assuming that most or all otherkin have periods in their awakenings in which the influence of their spiritual identity in some subtle form or sense consumes their mind or spiritual body, at which times they may be more in-tune with their kintype in mind or spirit. Myself, I used to believe that I had the ability to call up my full phantom form alongside an imaginary pool of immense energy at will, I often would use that belief to do shifts while exploring nearby wilderness so as to truly be free experiencing the surrounding nature.

The only downfall to those random shifts or types of spiritual perceptions is that at the end of the day we are still stuck in a human forms. No otherkin anywhere in modern time has ever successfully pulled off a physical transformation, so what I have just described or what you may presently be experiencing are the known peaks and limits of otherkin spiritual influence over the physical form and reality. No matter what you try, in the end the body you are in is what you have to live with, we are all still confined to what we exist as today, so it remains necessary to work with a clear focus to better this life as a priority. Work to utilize your kintype as a point of pride, you have a unique understanding of spirit so use that knowledge with the goal that you will never stop improving the present and perfecting who you are today.

Keep working on improving your otherkin shifts or states of mind, embrace them, and accept them if you wish, its normal for most kin and frankly feels awesome most of the time. The key is just remembering not to get too caught up in it as some can tend to do, including myself. I guess shift in moderation, as good as it may hypothetically feel to be close to your kintype and flow with these sensations you will still need to remember to balance your human and otherkin identities. Balance is always important, I see myself separate from most of my peers and spend a lot of time in nature and pursuing spiritual introspection but I still also acknowledge that I presently exist in a meritocracy and that I must work and coexist with said peers in day to day life if I want to succeed in this world or bring honor to my spirit.

When you are at home, in nature, or with close friends, I invite you to feel free to embrace your kintype and shift freely, but when you are in daily life and within a world of non-believers or around those you will meet day to day then please remember that you are also part of that crowd and are responsible to do your best to live and succeed among them. We are here first and foremost as humans and we exist here for a reason, please do not avoid finding or pursuing your higher purpose or potential by dwelling too deeply on spiritual escapes or distractions, have a balance and moderation in all things spiritual.

My personal meditation method:

(In response to a letter sent regarding achieving a spiritual state of mind)

I have felt deeply connected or one with my higher self a few times in the past, but as I have aged and as life has progressed it has become harder for me personally. I cherish every opportunity that I have to reach what I feel may be a higher state of attunement as it truly is a form of bliss to be aware of all that is and can be.

In regards to how to obtain such, I am afraid that it is impossible for me to give an exact method to become closer to your spiritual self. It is really impossible for me to answer accurately because for every person it is different. I can only speak from my own experience, due to the nature of spirit and self I cannot state with any certainty an absolute answer to your question.

In my own experiences I always connected to my inner spirit through a form of visual meditation or trance which I had devised. It was what worked for me. It was my own personal tool. I knew that I was a dragon and I wanted to try to learn more so I created a meditation that would allow me to speak to my own spirit.

I created for myself a personal symbol or a sigil to represent my inner self. I would go in to a silent room, (sometimes I had meditative or instrumental music) and I would close my eyes and visualize on an endless void of darkness, I would imagine my sigil glowing in the darkness, the symbol would slowly and gently pull my spirit from my body into that space, I would be out of my body, outside of physical reality, detached from physical self. I would imagine appearing as a dragon in this void, I would feel my tail, claws, wings, horns, I was a dragon.

I would open my eyes as this dragon within the vision and the darkness would fade into various auras and clouds consisting of endless strands of energy. I would perceive that I was existing simultaneously as my spirit and within my own spirit simultaneously. I would be speaking to my spirit as a part of it and that in this state all of my spirits forms memories, secrets and knowledge would be more accessible to me in that state of being.

In this space I was free from my body and from my mortal consciousness with its fears, insecurities, inequities and trivial or egotistical pursuits. Visualizing myself as this spirit within itself in this detached reality, I could ask myself questions and get an honest answer from the energies around me. I was disassociated from external judgment and as a spirit was connected with the universality of all things.

It was in these unique trance states that I felt I could ascend to an unbiased external perspective of self. That I could speak directly to my higher self or to my spirit. I could ask in my mind any question, if my spirit was able it would draw the answer from its bountiful knowledge and would answer my query in kind. However it would also be unbiased and brutally honest. After these meditations and visualizations I would often find myself in a sort of trance where I would often type on my computer letters full of spiritual information or advice intended for myself but written from an outside perspective, my spirit expressing its views or lecturing my ego and body of its flaws, mistakes and assumptions.

This visual meditation was only my personal method. Remember that for everyone there exists a different or unique path, what had worked for me in the past may not work for you. I would recommend trying out different paths until you find the one that helps you connect best on an emotional or spiritual level.

Some alternative methods to getting closer to your spiritual self may be found in spending time in nature, relaxing or questioning yourself while listening to emotionally powerful music that may appeal to you, searching through meditation, possibly exploring reiki or chakra work, through prayer, through expressing yourself with art and creativity or simply by continually sensing and seeking to know that part of your spirit. I hope some of this may have been of help.

Essay on why I am skeptical of Fictionkin:

As a few of my recent writings on the social media site Tumblr have been written with the ulterior motive of attacking or discouraging fictionkin. I figured that I would just come right out and say how I felt instead. Yes, I consider myself to be hostile towards the concept of fictionkin for a variety of personal and subjective reasons, the main ones being a familiarity bias and an experiential bias.

I consider myself to be dragonkin through reincarnation, I had experienced most of my initial awakening periodically while still quite young in the early 90's and while without the aid of the internet. Left to my own introspection I had come to the conclusion that reincarnation was the most rational explanation as to how I could perceive myself to be a dragon in all but a physical form. Later in my late teens when I discovered the otherkin community around the early 2000's I had found that my own conclusions seemed to have had a valid consensus among my peers in the online community, in a sense back then my beliefs were the norm and consensus. That is not to say that psychological variants of otherkin did not exist, they did and were common, but their beliefs generally consisted of well thought out self-understandings and typically had an archetypal basis of sorts rather than a coping explanation.

During the time that I discovered and came to know the general otherkin community it was common that any fictionkin which existed were often relegated to the realm of fluff and were typically challenged and questioned into exile. I personally begun to drift away from the community around 2008 but at the time that I had left, cultural views on what it meant to be otherkin still seemed generally unchanged, although opinions were straying more towards an agnostic understanding and in a less spiritual direction as my peers aged and matured. Still, as if I was frozen in a time capsule for eight years I left and did not choose to evolve, grow or mature with the overall community. So, now, as I am returning from a nearly eight year hiatus in the year 2016, I have found that a lot of what I see on Tumblr appears extremely foreign and unorthodox to me, behaviors which were frowned upon in the past were now commonly being encouraged and promoted.

The second source of my hostility, is because my girlfriend was formally what is now known as a fictionkin or soulbond, when I had first met her she proudly had the anime character Inuyasha as an alter ego and she would typically front him on a daily basis. However, never once did she consider herself to be “otherkin” because of his presence within her. Rather, it was more like some form of LARP'ing for her. To her it was also an emotional connection of being able to connect to a character and universe that she identified with. Even still, for her there remained a basic understanding that she was not this character at heart and eventually she matured and moved on from her ability to channel and to front Inuyasha.

On the other hand, otherkin identities as I grew to know them in the past were something that you were typically born with or incrementally discovered throughout your life, an aspect or inner sense that you had suspected on an inherent personal level or of which you had some form of inner knowing of. Being an otherkin or therian was not something that could simply be triggered by an anime or a cartoon, it was inherently known or suspected long before such a trigger occurred. Typically once one's kintype was sensed or discovered their otherkin identity could have the potential to last as a part of their personality through the course of their lifetime. That is why I do not consider most fictionkin to be legitimate as it were, I have no problem with their existence, I just prefer they use a different terminology or sub community. I am more comfortable with fictionkin identifying with a form of coping link or psychological personal terminology instead, but I cannot personally view them as “Kin” or at least not by the traditional understanding of the term.

Lastly and probably the biggest reason that I get infuriated by the idea of Fictionkin is due to subjective personal reasons attributable only to myself. I personally awakened as a dragon at roughly the age of ten, perhaps a little younger even, I am presently thirty two years of age as I write this, that means that I have had to deal with the emotional consequences of my draconic awakening well over the course of twenty two long years, the first six of those years I had no access to the internet and so I had no way of knowing that I wasn't the only person on Earth going through an internal species identity crisis, I was convinced that I was insane but there was nothing that I could do, I had to act normal, but I could not resist my inner knowing and therefore there was no way for me to fight my insanity without being miserable..

You cannot possibly know how terrifying that was!! To be a kid in the 90's and knowing in your heart and soul that you felt and saw yourself as something impossible to be, believing yourself a dragon suddenly awake on a strange new world with absolutely no way of knowing that you were not alone in that struggle? I would question and challenge myself every day and I would cry myself to sleep every night because it was all so impossible. For me it was never some stupid internet identity or some group association game, when I was a kid I would have traded the world if turning off my fears and sensations were possible, but being a dragonkin wasn't something that I could just simply turn off or forget. How and what I was in spirit was an undeniable aspect of my mind and inner self which I could not escape from no matter how much I would try to run or hide from it. The sensations and inner knowing that I was different and unnatural would not cease no matter how much I would cry out for them to stop. No matter what I tried to do growing up, my tears would never make me “normal” and attempts to ignore the truth would always just bring more pain then if I accepted it. I was trapped by being otherkin, it was never a choice I made, it was an undeniable yet irrational sense of my true self.

I spent my high school and college years suffering from phantom pains and species dysphoria so powerful and heart breaking that on every full moon I would travel out to the wilderness armed with every prayer and occult knowledge imaginable in endless attempts to offer up my very soul to whichever gods or devil could possibly somehow release me from the torment of my human flesh and return me home to the life or body that I so desperately missed. Being Otherkin was never fun or a game for me, it was a constant fight, an unending emotional nightmare and a psychological struggle between heart and reality from which I could never seem to escape. How can a fictionkin, “copingkin,” soulbond or other cognitive based variant truly understand fully that struggle? A struggle of walking a balance between denying reality and denying one's self, or enduring the longings and pains for a body that is dead or possibly never existed. How can a soulbond understand this pain when by admission of their own self-understanding they are only experiencing a temporary psychological association to a fictional creation?

In short, I do not like them using the suffix “kin”, I want the suffix back, it may not mean the same for others anymore, but otherkin was the closest thing to a faith that I ever had and I do not want to see the terminology watered down without a fight. To see the inner torment of my past being associated with somebody's temporary fictional identity, their coping mechanism or some other psychological fling enrages me and crushes my heart and soul. Being otherkin used to be something more permanent it was inherent and emotionally consequential. Identifying as otherkin once brought internal hardships of identity, pain and longings that for example, my mate who was fronting and channeling Inuyasha in the past simply would have never understood, because when she was fronting Inuyasha she was not magically and suddenly “otherkin”, rather she was something else, you name that something else if you wish, but she was not otherkin.

When I left the overall otherkin community around 2008 there was still an understanding that someone could not just watch the movie “How To Train Your Dragon” and declare themselves to be a Nightfury, I could not watch a popular fiction and suddenly declare myself to be a citizen of that reality without a fight. The type of uncritical thinking demonstrated by most fictionkin was beaten back and challenged vehemently in the past. I am now returning from a hiatus of several years away from the community to find a new digital culture that is foreign and in some respects absolutely disgusting. It offends the memory of my past experiences, the memories of my past friendships and it offends my past understandings. As a result of these varied points, I consider myself to be hostile to fictionkin because prior to the rise of social media, my hostility was common consensus. There is a reason why most otherkin refer to the community on Tumblr as “Tumblr'kin” the overall culture and general self-understandings are foreign, lacking of self-introspection and are generally unorthodox to the way things were once understood within the broader community.

Again, I approach the entire otherkin concept primarily from a biased spiritual worldview as that was the overall understanding of me and the majority of my peers when I had initially discovered the otherkin community. These are the views of the digital culture which I came of age in. As said, there was room for archetypal concepts on the psychological side of being otherkin, but that was about as broad an alternative definition that I had witnessed in the past. With that context shared, I have very little understanding beyond those too definitions of otherkin, so please feel free to educate me if you wish to try.

I honestly do not know what a psychological otherkin even is, it does not register or make sense to me, beyond an archetypal connection with ones kintype, so when I hear the words psychological otherkin all I hear is archetypal identity and when I hear the word fictionkin I tend to look back at my girlfriend's past and assume the writer is just some confused role-player who is channeling a self-manifested head mate or at best spiritually tulpamancing a favorite character, neither of which would be acceptable for use with the traditional suffix of “Kin”. When I think back to my girlfriends actions, or when I envision fictionkin the sense I typically imagine reminds me of the false realities portrayed in the anime “Love, Chunibyo & Other Delusions” the whole idea just comes off as an escapist game, just an internal game and not a truly understood or well challenged sense of self.

To conclude my “Back in my day” rant, - Back in my day identifying as an otherkin was never truly about choosing a personal identity, it was something deeper than that and I do not feel or trust that most “fictionkin” around today have any real understanding of what otherkin once meant ten, twenty or thirty years ago. Perhaps in many ways I am just an old bitter anachronism and things have simply changed while I was off living life, but I simply wanted to share what otherkin once meant to me and others in the not so distant past.

CONCLUSION

I hope this guide may have been of some use, it is a work in progress and is subjective, please take everything with a grain of salt and in all things work to find your own path and be true to yourself.

I am always happy to meet new people so if you have something to ask, or just want to chat, please do not be afraid to contact me.

~ Jafira Dragon

I am always happy to meet new people so if you have something to ask, or just want to chat don't be afraid to contact me.